Gray

July 19, 2012 § Leave a comment

To start off, Ramadhan is in 2 days and I am not sure whether I’m excited or not. Time is passing by without even pausing for a minute. It’s getting nearer and nearer to SPM and yet I’ve not work that hard to change my grades in my studies. I do realize, I know the consequences. I just don’t feel motivated at all. From scale 1 to 10, it’s 4. I’m still on a search. Still searching for the adrenaline, the passion, the spirit and it’s not there. Is it because that I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up? Maybe it’s because that I don’t surround myself with positive and motivated people? Maybe.

Move on.

Somehow, this feeling came back again. I miss him. I miss him dearly. It’s still a shocking and devastating news that he already replaced me. I mean how can that be? Why so quick? Although it has been like around 4 months, it’s normal. I did loved you. I really do. I gave myself a chance, I opened the door for you, I let my guard down for you. But now? I know people change but you can’t just flip and switch becoming someone else. Is it me? Is it you? Or is it us to blame here? Sigh I hate talking about this. I just wish that there’s a button somewhere at my body for me to press and delete all the memories I have kept and sealed.

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