Heartless

August 18, 2012 § Leave a comment

The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn’t live boldly enough, that they didn’t invest enough heart, didn’t love enough. Nothing else really counts at all.

My closest cousins seem to ignore me. Wished her happy birthday yesterday and I’ve got no reply for her. Well maybe she has not reload or have not go online or something but I know that something is not right. I know I did not came to any event that the family have thrown, I’m sorry but I just don’t feel like going. Besides, by me being there just make me feel all left out. I don’t think all of you are happy to have my face there aren’t you? I don’t really mind if you both or you guys decided to rid off me out of your life. It’s fine but by ignoring me? I can’t cope up with that. I did not ignore each and every one of you. I just did not bother much that’s all. It’s kinda disappointed to know that when I approached, you people knew and yet acted like it never happened. Yes, people have different ways to cope with all their probs and shits. I’ve mine too. Maybe you can’t cope with mine and maybe yes, I can’t cope up with yours. I am not sure if you guys will ever get the chance to read my post but I really want you to know that I am truly sorry for what happened to us. I don’t even know how it got this bad. I do miss you. I do miss spending time with you. I miss what we used to have. I know things will never be the same again. I just want you to know that, it’s not that I intentionally don’t give a fuck about you guys, it’s just that most of the time, my world is not revolve around all of you so it made me sorry to say, forget. I tried to distant myself from you because I’m sick of getting your hopes down. I am sick of making you disappointed at me. I am sick of what I’ve done that hurt you without me realizing it. I’ll cherish every single thing that we’ve once shared. Know that I always love you guys no matter what. All the best in life!

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