4th November 2012. 12.39 AM

November 4, 2012 § Leave a comment

Well okay let me get this straight. Why the fuckety fuck is wrong with me tonight? Wait I think I’m perfectly fine until oh I don’t even know how or when did I over crossed to think about the past. About you. And seriously my thoughts are running wild about it and I tried to shield them from breaking my walls but they’re so powerful and strong and I’ve lost. My head is overwhelmed. I’m disgusted with myself. I really am was a fool back then. You have no idea how much I regret about it. How I wish I really wish I could just go back and change everything. One decision, one stupid decision and everything changed. It’s not that I don’t accept my fate, it’s just that I don’t understand why must I learn it this way. Why must I go through this? Why must you? Why I did not hold myself from going? Why didn’t I say no when my mom kept on persuading me to go. Why? Tell me why?! I hate this. I hate what I have behind. I wish I could just erase it. Erase all what’s happened in the previous. Terminated everything, you, me and basically anyone who knows about it and starting from that shitty night. Sigh no I don’t have to look at the mirror. I do quite hate myself. I feel disgusted tonight. Disgusted at 12.39 AM

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