come and lie

March 24, 2013 § Leave a comment

do you have any idea how everyday I am tempted to just drop everything and just grab my bag and hope on a plane?

do you have any idea how jealous I am towards people who has the time for themselves and the ones their love especially at long breaks like this?

do you have any idea how I miss traveling and go sight-seeing new places and go shopping and have fun?

do you have any idea how much I miss and my need to spend some quality time with my family and not worry a single thing?

do you have any idea how badly I want to prove everybody wrong?

do you have any idea what the actual heck I am actually going through at the moment?

do you have any idea how easily beaten and overwhelm I am by these monsters inside of me?

do you have any idea how much I’ve been strong for myself and others and now I’ve to build my walls higher and thicker?

do you have any idea how numb and astray I am?

do you have any idea how much I want all the money in the world and just buy anything that I’ve lust for and help the poor and needy?

do you have any idea how badly I am looking for peace and serenity?

do you have any idea how much I want to love and get closer to Allah?

do you have any idea how insecure I am seeing others so happy with their love ones, with what they have and with what they are?

do you have any idea how much effort I’ve to put up with just to make sure that I don’t look pathetic and I don’t lose the ones around me?

do you have any idea how I stare at my ceiling motionlessly thinking about the purpose of life and my existence?

do you have any idea how much I want everything to be like how it used to be?

do you have any idea how bad I want to be successful in my life and point to all those who don’t believe in me?

do you have any idea how much I want to love and to be loved back equally?

do you have any idea how desperately I am to just figured out what my life should be?

do you have any idea how hard it is to be good and to keep myself on the right track?

do you have any idea how bad I want a happy family with loving friends?

do you have any idea how suck it is to be me?

do you have any idea how hard it is to change myself to someone good?

do you have any idea how hard it is when reality hits you directly on the face?

do you have any fucking idea how badly I want someone to just hug me and assure me that everything’s going to be alright?

do you have any idea how much I want to be content and perpetuity knowing and believe that the next second of my life is going to be wonderful?

do you have any idea how hard it is to make amends with everything and start new?

do you have any idea what I’m trying to say here?

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