life is like a box full of chocolates

March 26, 2013 § Leave a comment

I was idling for half an hour on my bed thinking about how my life has been going so far. And that so far well let’s just say I could sum up that everything I have, mostly they are taken away.

I could see it now. People around me are ahead of me and I am far left behind. After this afternoon, I’ve realized how small I actually am. Knowing that most of my closest friends received good results for the past national examination, a pang of regret and jealousy rushes through my blood. My results they are quite good but somehow I do believe I actually can do better. Yes, I’ve accepted it earlier with all my heart that I did best for it and whatever happens, I take it with an open mind.

Supposed I am wrong after all.

If I were to list down all the things that I must own in my life oh boy it sure is long! Now that my situation is pretty uptight at the moment, I just couldn’t help but wonder what happens next? I don’t want to lose all the privilege I currently have now forever. Oh god nauzubillah can’t even imagine that could happen I hope not.

Dear self, you do know how badly and desperately you want all of these kan? SO PLEASE PLEASE WORK HARD TO GET EM PLEASE FOR YOUR OWN SAKE SLAP YOUR FRICKING SELF HIT YOUR HEAD BANG YOURSELF AT THE WALL IF I WANT AN EASY LIFE FOR THE FUTURE THEN I HAVE TO STRUGGLE HARD AMIN

p/s: hoping the fire I’ve lit will burn more vigorously and brightly day by day

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