disarray

May 15, 2013 § Leave a comment

“I found what makes me unhappy. It is social media. Any social platforms make me unhappy. I guess you can say that any contact with people makes me unhappy. Afterall if you think about it, if you don’t talk to anyone you’d avoid conflicts and you wouldn’t need to put up with anyone at all.

But all of us know it is impossible to boot everyone out of their life. Being alone makes people sad as well. When can we ever find a perfect way of living? A perfect system, a perfect government, a perfect group of friends, a perfect boyfriend, a perfect school, perfect grades, perfect family?

There’s no way.

I am out of this emotional black hole.”

May 14, 2013 § Leave a comment

“if all the good people stay away from the bad ones then how on earth are they going to be good?”

EXACTLY

chin up, daffodil

May 14, 2013 § Leave a comment

This really meant a lot to me. Thank you for making my day although we never really know each other. Your post gave me reassurance that I am not actually alone in this. I’ve been feeling insignificant for too long, yes and it hurts. I don’t even know how this started. Perhaps this is the tough road of my journey growing up. It’s okay. I’ll make it through. I’ll make it through because I’ve always have been.

All good things must come to an end and hey obviously the same way vice versa ain’t I’m right?

“Have you ever had that feeling?
When someone you love suddenly acts out all strange and starts to avoid you. And no matter how hard you try to fix things, you just cant. So the only thing you can do is watch them slowly disappear, slowly forgetting you- bit by bit.

Have you every had that feeling?
When you refuse to get out of bed, but life is just calling you. If possible you would rather just snuggle in your blanket, shutting down from the world. Cause its safer to cave in, then to face everyone. You just dont feel like talking to anyone, not even your mother about anything. Its just one of those days you would lie on the floor and stare at the empty ceiling, feeling nothing.

Have you ever had that feeling?
When the people around you are slowly changing. And you feel like nobody knows you anymore.You just cant talk to people, nobody understands you, nobody know what you feel like. Its an awful feeling. You feel so alone, even the walls wont accompany you.

Have you ever had that feeling?
When every night is a battle between you and your inner self. You would cry yourself to sleep and hope not to wake up. Cause life seems meaningless.

Have you ever had these feelings?
It hurts, like hell. I know.

But you know whats the best feeling within all these chaos? Knowing that its Allah telling you that He wants you to be alone with Him. He wants you to look for Him. He wants you to turn to Him. He wants you to depend on Him. He takes away the people you love in your life so it would just be the two of you. If you have a bit more faith in Allah, He’ll show you the way, He’ll return everything you’ve lost, in fact He can replace them with someone better.

All you have to do is ask.

So to all of you who just got dumped, who got in a fight with a bestfriend, who got cheated on, who got backstabbed, who lost everything you’ve never imagined losing – turn to Allah. He’s capable of doing anything. I mean, isn’t he the One Who created the heavens and the earth and everything in between? If He can take away a life, he surely can grant you the people you truly deserve. Pour your heart out to Him, He wouldn’t mind. Tell Him everything, all your hearts content, all your problems, all your sorrows, your worries. He is there for you, always was, always will. We’re just the ones who never realize it. Sayangnya.

All you have to do is ask. And work a bit harder. Usaha, Doa, Tawakkal.

So chin up buttercup 🙂
Love, Adibah.

Maybe

May 2, 2013 § Leave a comment

Maybe I just want to be found

April 25, 2013 § Leave a comment

semua aku polah semua jak salah d mata kau better ku pergi dari ku bising

April 24, 2013 § Leave a comment

Basically with what just happened this evening, I couldn’t help but to write and post it.

I am utterly dejected and ashamed of myself. Why? As I am knowing for ridiculing our society for their lack of respect, care, love and you can name the others but truthfully I am sad to know that maybe I’m just as the same as the others. I witnessed with my very own eyes how our youth doesn’t even bother to help a man in need. They saw it, they knew what was going on, the man asked for their help yet they just look at him with an empty face as if he was an outcast. It made me realize more how our generation today are lack of morals pfftt and talk about 1 Malaysia? Yeah right

Since my car was behind him it made me see more clearly. Yet I did nothing but murmured, ” poor uncle, why isn’t anyone helping? why’s everyone just stare at him? someone please do something!” Main question is my dear, why aren’t you lending a hand yet if you already knew?

You’ve no idea how dejected I am for just sit there in the care and just watch the scene until one or two men helped him pushed and steered his car. The moment I saw he’s in trouble, I was torn in two whether to help or not because I thought since I was a girl I’m not sure if I could do any help. How shallow and narrow minded I am actually! Perhaps this is a sign from Him up there to open my eyes about everything. Sadi, you are so stupid at times you know. If you saw or knew someone who’s in need of help, just go for it. Don’t let other foolish things preoccupied your mind and more importantly your insides. One needs help then go and give one. It’s better than just look and stay still pitying. The longer you waver, the longer your will to help will fade.

I do realize at times when I wanted to help, there’s always something in me that’s trying to hold me back. I don’t know whether its my ego or what, but as far as I know it’s in me and I need to kill it. I’ve been in several events relating to this and yes I admit I am worthless and no use. I am not a malice no because I do sympathize and emphasize seeing others in trouble.

It is an eye opener for me to realize all my mistakes that I’ve did back in the past. Frankly I have not been a good person, a good daughter, a good friend and a good me for myself. O Allah, although I’m wounded because of this but if this is your way to slap myself up, then I am truly grateful and thankful to You. For it is a lesson to learn and shall be noted from now on. InsyaAllah

save her, no.

April 22, 2013 § Leave a comment

Explaining to you what the hell I’m going through is like explaining how does water taste like.

Explaining to you my greatest desire to wander all around the world would be impossible.

I had told you or perhaps gave you hints that I’m actually depressed that I need an escape, but you take it as something not even worth to give a time to think about. From the looks of it, my issues are no big deal.

Because you think by praying can solve most of the problems. Well I beg to differ sir! He won’t change your fate unless you work for it.

Guess I can only rely on myself on this matter oh wells

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